april 1, 2008

happy april.

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

Being that today is the first of April, I was expecting that it was going to be quiet as it always is; I’ve never been the target of any pranks & I’ve never been one to religiously prank people each April 1st. But… I think someone has been messing with my template for my blog because the complete right side of it is missing! If this is the idea of a sick joke I am not laughing. I am trying not to get too mad before I figure out what the trouble could be. I am currently waiting for Lover to get online so he can help me with it (he is my illegitimate technical support) but if something doesn’t give within a few hours, I may end up crying something terrible.

So far I’ve played two pranks. The first one I completed 45 minutes ago. I had a dreaded doctor’s appointment today for a female check up (I loathe pap smears). It was supposed to be at 10:15 this morning & it is 11 now. So I’m certain they were wondering where I could have been. Well… April Fools, Planned Parenthood! This wasn’t intentionally a prank; I just didn’t really want to go. I was complaining about it all night last night to Lover. There is nothing I hate more than being in a crowded clinic (we don’t have health insurance) for 2 hours & then being called in right when I am just about to blow up because my appointment was 2 hours ago, & then… some strange lady is poking & prodding inside of my most sacred area in an unfriendly “one down, 40 to go” kind of manner. Again… I loathe pap smears. But upon realizing that today is the first of April, I thought this “prank” would be justified & well… if not, it’ll just have to do. I also posted a random bulletin on Myspace saying that I was pregnant, which is not true at all, but I’ve been getting a lot of inquisitions lately about when Jonathan & I will start a family. & frankly, I am tired of people asking! Just because we got married doesn’t mean that I turn into a baby making machine. I am revolting against being a baby making machine. Not until I am much older, at least. Again, this is hardly a joke… but it’s something, which is better than nothing. Chances are, no one will see my measly little joke anyway, because it seems as though the steam that has been keeping Myspace alive & kicking is dwindling. I hardly ever use it myself… except for the occasional stalking cravings I get, but that is another story, entirely.

I must tell of this one joke I played on my sister, who cannot forget it for the life of her; I traumatized her something terrible! I made breakfast one morning for the both of us, which I think was eggs & bacon. We were young; I may have been about 10 or 11, she about 8 or 9. I was being extra-specially nice to her on this day because at the time, she was very oblivious to the whole April Fool’s Day jokes. I began to make her scrabbled eggs & while she wasn’t looking, I put some green dye inside of the bowl as well as a few tablespoons of salt. It was a green, salty mess & it smelled horrible! I cooked them & gave them to my sister on a plate. She looked at me as though she was going to cry; she said, “Why are they that color?” & I acted as though she was colorblind. I said, “They’re the usual color. I don’t see anything wrong with it.” She was trying to convince me that the eggs were green & I kept insisting that there was something wrong with her eyes because they were yellow to me. Even my mother got in on the joke & told my sister that maybe we should take her to the doctor because she’s seeing things. We argued about the color of the eggs for a good 10 minutes; she wouldn’t even go near them. I finally convinced her to take a bite of the eggs so that she would know that the eggs will at least taste fine. She then put the bright green eggs onto her fork & shoved them inside of her mouth. She gagged & spit them out & started to cry. I was laughing but instantly felt horrible for putting my sister through that torture. I’m sure it must have tasted awful. I explained the whole thing to her & even though it wasn’t that great of a joke, she’ll never forget it because I still bring it up.

Nevertheless, I love her very much.

edit; I fixed my sidebar all by myself with no help of Lover’s. Bravo. :]