may 23, 2008

qui se porte bien (right as rain).

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

It is a dreary day. It has been pouring rain, without ceasing, since yesterday.

I mistakenly went out yesterday afternoon to grocery shop. This was bad idea; not just because I didn’t dress according to the wet weather (I am the only person who will willingly wear gladiator sandals when it’s raining) but because I went out just as the storm was gaining strength. I arrived at the store, which sits about 3 stories up from the ground, & when the lightning struck, it seemed like we (meaning myself & the other shoppers) were millimeters away from being electrocuted. I started to wonder what it might feel like to be shocked by lightning. The thunder followed several seconds after, roaring, echoing, making the whole building feel like it was rumbling & shaking with the growls of the noise. It was awe-some.

The rain began to pour & pour right as I was getting out of my car. It was coming down in torrents & I, in my little sandals, was trying to scramble indoors, while trying to remain completely composed as though the water didn’t really bother me. I get so irritated when I hear people complain & whine about “this wretched rainy weather” & they fear going outdoors without an umbrella as if the sky is raining fire. I saw a lot of this while working in the Salon. Clients didn’t want to muss their perfectly done hair & the reaction is (not to sound sadistic) awfully funny to watch: “My hair! Oh, my hair! Why must it rain today, right as I just got my hair done? This is bullshit!” I would comfort the clients, telling them that “it’s just water” & they would glare at me & mutter something under their breaths. As they braved the Bullshit Rain with a newspaper covering their heads, I would giggle because it really is silly. & it really is only water.

Nevertheless, it wasn’t smart of me to go out yesterday without being properly dressed & by the time I got back to my little apartment, I was soaked. My hair (oh no! Not my hair! Not my beautiful, beautiful hair!), my face, my exposed feet. (I don’t bother to carry an umbrella & if I do, I never use it.) I was a tad grumpy at this, but it didn’t phase me much. This weather may be annoying & depressing to some, but for Lover & I, it is an aphrodisiac, a mood booster & quite smile inducing. Talking to him a bit this morning, I asked him how his day was going so far & he responded: “It’s Friday & the weather is gloomy; I’ve got a big smile on my face.”

Thus, another reason why we don’t belong in sunny Southern California.

Despite this weather, I want to go out in it. I am going to try to make an excuse to go out in it. I love the art of bundling up, layers upon layers & trudging through puddles & sprinkles & cold air. I love the sensation of that first blast of heat in the car. I love feeling it on my toes, especially, with the windows rolled down a little & the rain hitting my face. I love hearing my car splash through potholes & I love watching the expressions of passersby, grimacing & grumbling because they want to go to the beach already.

There is something so pure & calming about the rain, especially in this dirty city. It seems to wash the bad things away: the smoggy air, the pollution, the litter on the streets, the annoying crowds of people shopping & trying to sell you things on the side of the road. Even if those things are still there, the only thing I can focus on is the sensation of the misty air on my skin, the sound of water plunging from the sky & how warm & cozy I am in my peacoat jacket.

Like a security blanket, the rain soothes & relaxes my spirit. Seemingly endless afternoons bring me down, making me feel lonely in this big, crazy world. But when it rains, it reminds me that God is listening to me, for he knows that the rain brightens my dear heart.

Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby. — Langston Hughes