apricot is chicken little.
Friday, March 14th, 2008
I certainly feel silly. Last night, I had Lover read my blog (I have appointed him chief editor of my blog) & after giggling a bit & reading through the whole entry, he walked over to me while I was laying on the couch, kissed me on my forehead & said “You’re silly & I love you.” That was it. No other words were exchanged about the troubles going on in my head. Not one more word of it. I suppose, again, I expected that he would freak out a little just as I have been doing. But his one liner made me see that he’s not concerned whatsoever. Actually, when I brought it to his attention once more before bed, desperation in my voice, he was puzzled at my determination to get to the bottom of this. He said, “Oh….. you were serious?” My face went blank & I felt like I was going to burst into fits of laughter. Of course I was!!! But… I just sighed, rolled over & tried to get some sleep. & that is why I feel silly; ridiculous would be a better word. Seems like I am the only one who is yelling “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!” like Chicken Little & everyone around me is calm as a cucumber, not even noticing my worry. When in fact, the sky is not falling… but it feels like it is. & when I finally come to this conclusion, it is embarrassing. To see myself get so wrapped up in my own thoughts, my own imagination is kind of embarrassing… & — dare I say? — a little funny. Like today, for example. I noticed that while I was finishing shaving my left leg in the shower, the razor I was using was rusty. I gasped & threw the razor. Then, I called my husband & told him my dilemma. I tried not to sound desperate like I did last night, but I explained to him that I thought I may need to go to the doctor because I had shaved my leg with a rusty razor. Oh, the things I get myself into. Turns out, through a brief & thorough investigation by my husband, I was at no risk because I hadn’t nicked myself while shaving, therefore I was safe from getting lockjaw. Now, I will say that I am not THAT much of a worry-wart, but I do have a tendency to over exaggerate my situations. When I was a little girl, full of imagination & wonder, I discovered that the bigger the story the bigger the audience. Bad habits are the hardest to break & I am still working on this one. You will catch me telling a story but making the number of swarming killer bees 10, instead of the more accurate being 2. Or a gigantic, scary spider when it really was medium-sized. Although…I have never heard Lover complain too much about it. I actually think he gets a kick out of saving this Damsel in Distress every so often; he also likes watching my face light up while I tell him stories. So long as I get to see his brilliant smile, I will continue with my exaggerations & shock-value stories.
I felt like today dragged on & on without much mercy. We didn’t have internet connection in our apartment for several hours so I was stuck staring aimlessly at the television screen wondering why there are such idiotic shows on it. Eventually, the computer was at my service again, & so it has been for the last hour or so. I have been putting more personal touches to my blog that were much needed. & I am still very much astounded at how many people are reading my words! Over 500 hits today; imagine that. I mean, I am not trying to brag — am I ever? — but I am honored. Humbled, as well. To many average joes, this is no big deal; people shrug their shoulders to just a few measly little visits from random people. But me, I see the beauty in every single individual taking time out of their days to take a gander at my ramblings. To know that people are giving me the time of day when I feel as though I deserve it as much as the other guy is nice.